About a month ago I decided to delete the subscriptions of blogs, YouTube videos, websites which I felt had a negative impact on me. These blogs and videos started off as interesting and informative to me (and some still are) however the overarching feeling was jealousy and comparison which made me feel miserable… and that had to stop!
Suddenly I felt like that hater who would just visit or watch to criticize I would have thoughts like “How come she’s famous?! “She’s not that smart!” “Her work is not that good!” “It’s because she’s rich!” Or I would wallow myself in self-pity, “How come my life is not like hers?” “Why is she so lucky?” and the whining continues. It wasn’t a healthy habit.
The more I watched or read, the more out of touch I was from reality. These people worked damn hard to get their writing, designs, creations, styles to where they are. It wasn’t like they became successful overnight! Also it made me more cynical of my dreams, “What’s the point of trying, I’m not as good as them. I’m not good/pretty/talented/clever enough.”
These blogs, websites or videos are not bad and they all deserve their successes however for me they brought out something which I didn’t like, so they had to go. Maybe I wanted more substance…
Of course I’m curious from time to time but I resist! The blogs/websites/videos I visit, intrigue, inspire and inform me and occasionally just make me laugh! They are also pretty to look at too(!), but they don’t make me want to be “them”, they want me to work on “me”.