Feeling mediocre

Things have been busy. Exams are a month away. I’m turning 21 very soon and have a Birthday party to organise. Relatives from Vietnam have randomly arrived. I have a new rotation next week. This year is accelerating towards the finish line and I’m finding it hard to keep up with the speed. Also life seems to enjoy throwing curve balls at me which has made it quite hard to feel stable.

Our placements for next year have come out and to my shock, I have been placed at a rural site which I did not apply for. It appears that I’m not the only student in this predicament. I was going to do 4th year in Melbourne, so I chose metro hospitals as my preferences and I received Sale– which is a rural town about 3 hours away. I have no problem with Sale per se, however it is a huge shock to the system. I have commitments in Melbourne; I have work here, my friends and family are here. Now I have to move out, quit my job, find money to pay for a place there, get a car and so on. My mum is terribly worried after the events of 2008 and would prefer I’m in the city if something were to happen.

I have mixed feelings about this situation. Maybe being a Libran I am always plagued with both sides. I’m shocked and angry at the faculty, after being annoyed for not getting rural this year because I wasn’t “rural” enough and now receiving a rural placement when I didn’t choose it! It makes this whole preferencing system useless. On the other hand I’ve always felt life does things for a reason and I tend not to like altering the path it’s pushing me. However, am I meant to ride this wave? Am I meant to spend a year isolated from the world I knew and rely on myself more than ever? Face the most intense year of Med school alone? Is this what I need to become a better… stronger person? Or am I meant to fight this? For once, fight the waves…

I hate this feeling. It’s unsettling. I can’t study. Can’t plan my party. Can’t sit still.

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4 comments
  1. Jenny said:

    Have your relatives arrived FOR your birthday? If so that’s REALLY nice!

    I’m really sorry to hear about your placement. It will definitely be a big growing period I think.

  2. Jen said:

    Oh the big 2-1 coming up? How exciting for you! :) Stay strong through the rough times. I just went through a rough-downer patch for a moment but stuck it out and things just sort of ‘fall in to place’. :)

  3. Lorik said:

    Hmmm that’s tough….I dunno…You should do whatever you want Leanne..If you want to fight it, I would say go for it! Just do what you really want to do…If you want to go to Sale then go there, but if you don’t, then fight for what you truly want. Good luck~ Things will turn out, just stay positve ~

  4. Ellina said:

    That’s one big decision. I don’t really know, but if you did “fight the waves” would they possibly place you somewhere else? I feel like this is what a lot of doctors do you know, like trying to give treatments and are facing with a dilemma. I hope you’ll figure it out in time. If it’s only a year, maybe it shouldn’t be too bad? I think that there should be others who are placed in Rural as well and not knowing anyone there… Hope things will turn out ok ^^

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