One of my pitfalls is worrying about future events which have not yet happened. I have this fear that nothing good ever lasts long so I pre-empt myself with the dread and, inevitably it happens. The demise is either caused by fate, me or both. I am trying to amend this by being more present and not getting upset over things I cannot control.
But what happens when future events have been guaranteed and you know what you have now has an expiry date?
I’m currently in this predicament where the parties involved already have their foot out the door. Both transitioning between reality and obtaining their dreams. 2014 is the year and both have no intention to stop now, not even to smell the roses. Yet they have found themselves catching a whiff of the flowery scent, but this rose will wilt. Is there point in living in the moment when there is an obvious end point?
Is there point investing yourself when there’s a deadline? But then if you never intended to stop for your plans does it matter what you do with your time until then- isn’t this living in the moment and for the long term?
What am I really afraid of?
Wasting time? No that’s not it because the next 6 months are about my plans coming into fruition.
Giving up my dreams? I’ve put too much thought and emotion into them to give them up lightly. I’ve even had many appealing work offers put to me recently but I have politely declined them for the risky alternative I’ve set myself up for next year.
Getting hurt? Hm, maybe. But why is that an issue when I know I will not compromise for my dreams anyway? Why is this so important? Is it an ego thing?
As I finish writing this I haven’t really come to an answer but more questions, but I’ve come to the realisation: why does it matter?
The past has been written, knowing is better than regret, questioning every emotional investment is going to dim down the feeling and take away the satisfaction of life. This is easier said than done for a girl who sees a glass half empty, but:
Live in the moment. If it makes you unhappy- get out, you have control. If it makes you happy keep it close. If there are tears at the end, it means you’ve made it so beautiful that it’s worth remembering. So does that mean you’re also living for the long term?